It’s a Thursday in early February and my wife asks why my travel bag is packed in our bedroom. Somehow I had completely forgotten to tell her I was going to a conference in Nashville for 11 days…. As of 10 am tomorrow!
Now, I imagine you are all thinking about different things. The question I have for you is ‘How would this work in your relationship?’
For some, it would be cool, and others a mini world war 3. For me it went something like this;
Wife ‘Oh what’s that for? It would be nice to have known!’
Me ‘It’s an online marketing conference where I can network and learn how to serve more people online. I think it’ll make our round the world sailing adventure happen sooner!’
Wife ‘Are you serious, is that really possible. If you are right, how soon will we be able to leave?’
That was the end of the conversation and engagement about me going away for the next 11 days. No comments, friction or anything negative. In fact later that evening I found my wife reading the conference manual, making notes for herself!
You see my #1 supporter is my wife and I hers. Our relationship is centred around love, shared goals and supporting each other to achieving them. All in the understanding that what we do today is the foundation for what we will have later.
Now I would be being untruthful to let you believe this has always been the case. 7 years ago our life together was very different. We lived in the UK, and I travelled away from home for about 80% of each week, in fact often more than that! I was busy chasing ever-increasing amounts of cash and was very good at it. My wife, however, was very unhappy, and it all came to a head. We got honest with each other, in the most uncomfortable conversation, I have ever had. We had the conversation we should have had years beforehand. The result was us agreeing to build shared goals that we both 100% wanted and throw all of ourselves at them together.
This approach requires us to have completely honest and open communication. Yes, that’s right we talk about all that stuff most couples don’t because they believe its ‘too hard. We both strive to make the other one happy and are honest enough to tell the other when we are not getting enough of what we need.
It’s been a hard journey in many respects, but beyond rewarding in other ways. The results are us achieving things today that we had expected to when in our 50’s or 60’s. Wealth, houses, cars and 12+ weeks of vacation per year and the list goes on.
The success of my marriage is now THE THING which makes it all possible faster than I had ever imagined possible. More than that I am amazingly happy and fulfilled, my wife has my back 24-7 and together we are an unstoppable force.
I firmly believe in this incredible partnership of marriage and would encourage all of you to really invest in yours. Not in some ‘keep them quiet’ stereotypical type of way, but in a deep committed honest manner. One in which can turn your marriage in to your true super power.
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Remember this is Real Life and We Are Real Men